People often ask me how I got into coaching. Was it through advice, adversity or some kind of mid-life crisis. In truth, like most coaches, it was a mixture of all three. And like most people, through crisis came change.
Midlife Crisis
The Oxford Dictionary defines a midlife crisis as: A period of doubt, anxiety, and dissatisfaction that some people experience in middle age.
In so far as that’s an explanation, I’m not going to challenge it. One thing I know for sure through my coaching endeavours is that not “some“, but most of us experience this as we get into our forties and life begins… as the well worn expression goes.
I do feel that we, as beings or entities, are all connected. There is an innate urge to do something for others, whether this is a conscious or sub-conscious need. This need comes to the fore as our priorities change, as we enter what can be referred to, as the autumn of our lives.
This perhaps, is the reason we all take time to reflect at a certain point in our lives. Things slow down. The kids are older and more independent. The promotions or recognition in one’s career have largely come and gone. A change, not just of pace, but perspective prevails.
Midlife Change
For whatever reason, many of us seem to share a frustration of not having achieved the things of importance, and this brings about the so-called “crisis”
In my role as coach, I view this as more a calling for change. Be this a change of career, a change of job, or attitude, a need for a kind of calibration comes upon us.
Whether this be a job that is less focused on commercial endeavours, or one that is more focused on that direction. Even a total change of career direction. We can all understand the use of the word “anxiety“, because that’s what we all experience when we realise we are staring into the face of the unknown.
The realisation that our passions or our values have not been lived, trouble us as we realise that the time we had in abundance in our former years, is now becoming scarce.
The Way Forward
The coaches job is to help his client to validate his/her needs. This will go some way to easing anxiety once it’s apparent that there are solutions and clarity.
Everybody has the internal resources to find the solutions. Through the coach, the client will discover the attitudes, habits or beliefs that have shaped their decisions up to this point. These may well even be holding them back. An emotional or attitude shift should occur. The Aha moment.
Through the setting of goals and a commitment to action, genuine and lasting change can be achieved. Having gone through this process myself, I know just how powerful and liberating this feeling is.
If you find yourself at this point in life, remember crisis can (and often does) lead to change. Ideally, positive and lasting change. Use the contact form to get in touch and let’s have a chat. I’d be more than happy to help.
Until next time,
Your Coach Ben
