Welcome one and all to another update from the Coaching Practice. The holiday season is over and work is slowly restarting. All continue to make progress. It appears I’m even coaching from afar. It seems failure and discovery have never been far away.
Another month has passed and things are slowly getting back into the groove. There have also been a couple of enquiries for programs which is nice. It’s good to see that people are interested in self-improvement.
One of my clients (let’s call him “John“) was in Asia recently and has had an issue with confidence and a fear of failure. It was a huge deal for him to go that far away and have a week to himself after the main trip event was over. Whilst there, many trips were beckoning. All departed at some ungodly hour of the morning. Meeting and travelling long distances with people he’d never met. Speaking a language he didn’t know.
Despite Johns worst fears (I recall things like kidnapping, robbery, being murdered etc.) he left his thoughts behind and went on the journeys. Our sessions were in his mind and he opted to challenge himself. The result? John’s new outlook has been astoundingly positive.
In our most recent session, he realised and admitted that most, if not all “worst fears” had never actually materialised. Now he gets it. He understands that he can’t live in thought. The lack of confidence and fear of failure need not be. The very vehicle that led him to these outcomes, is the very vehicle which had taken them out. Himself.
Failure is Discovery
My personal belief is that there no such thing as a failure per se. What we call failure is simply a discovery. The discovery that something isn’t on the right track. The discovery that we need to reset. Take stock and go again.
The fear of failure often leads to a lack of confidence. In fact, the two things (fear of… ) failure and a lacking confidence are one and the same. They both arise from telling ourselves the worst will happen. That we will “fail”, or that we will be a laughing stock when everything falls apart.
The truth is that this simply doesn’t happen. We can’t tell the future. Perhaps some claim to be able to, but these are merely calculations and stunts dressed as reality. Tricks if you like. Life just doesn’t work in this way. Perhaps we can forecast. But this is based on plenty of real historical evidence. Truths. Real events.
John had never been to this country before, met these people before or even been kidnapped, robbed or similar before. On that basis, no credible forecast is possible. No failure can be foreseen. Had any of these ever happened to him, it’s almost certain he didn’t know they were about to.
They often say we should learn from our failures. If we do ever fail, this is simply life’s way of telling us to change. That our current plan or approach isn’t working. Failure IS discovery. Life is full of discoveries, and it’s never far away. It doesn’t have to manifest itself in disaster. The question is always, what will you do with it? The answer, I suggest, is to take heed, follow the signs and change.
Stay fulfilled and keep going. If you need help, you know where I am.
Until next time.
Your Coach Ben.
